📣 Kim Simons, CFO @ Workhouse Arts Foundation:
Some offices seem to thrive on gossip and don't realize how much it undermines productivity and workplace satisfaction. I'm not sure when this whole mean girl thing began, but it's past time for it to end.
I would suggest you speak with your manager about it immediately. Bring notes – as in who said what and when and who participated. Trying to protect someone's identity won't help. Use the word bullying to describe their behavior as gossiping like you described is bullying.
Ultimately, the only way to stop bullying is to confront it. You can't control how others behave but you can control how you respond to their behavior. If your manager fails to do anything, then it is up to you to confront it. Preparing to do so in advance can help reduce the stress of confronting them. Let's Grow Leaders has a series on "Powerful Phrases for Dealing with a Workplace Bully.” Some of their suggestions include saying: "This isn't OK." or "Is this how we're going to work together?" or "I feel uncomfortable with your behavior / this conversation."
HR should be an advocate in ending this type of toxic behavior, but it sounds like they're playing along. I'm sorry you're going through this.
📣 Courtney Romo, HR Director @ HVMG:
I think it's time for a shut it down conversation with a higher up HR. Yes, everyone loves a good vent session but those should be behind closed doors and not with HR participation. So, higher up HR needs to come in and shut it down.
Sit everyone down and say enough is enough. They are all grown people and will be held accountable for what they are saying. Starting on meeting date, these are expectations of the office and the office culture and those who cannot follow the rules will have disciplinary actions taken.
Also this is a good opportunity for some culture training on what you want your office culture to be and what you don't want it to be. HR and leadership need to lead by example.
📣 Kimberly Brady, HR Coordinator @ HopeTree Family Services:
Great question, and thank you for bringing this up, because workplace drama and gossip can quietly erode a team if it’s not addressed, especially in smaller environments.
It’s tough, especially when even HR seems to be participating instead of setting boundaries. While no workplace is totally free of interpersonal tension, here are a few steps I'd recommend:
Document specific incidents: Note the dates, times, people involved, what was said, and how it made you (or others) feel. Keeping things factual and objective can help shift the conversation from “drama” to “patterned behavior that’s impacting morale.”
Bring it to your manager with care: Frame the conversation around team well-being rather than pointing fingers. Try something like: I wanted to share something that’s been affecting my ability to focus and feel comfortable at work…
Let them know this isn’t about gossip, it’s about how the culture is affecting collaboration, trust, and psychological safety.
If needed, ask to remain anonymous: In a small office, anonymity is tricky, but you can ask your manager to treat the conversation with discretion. If you fear retaliation or if HR is involved in the behavior, it’s okay to document that interaction too. In more serious cases, you may even be protected under whistleblower laws.
Suggest a culture reset: Propose a team-wide meeting to reinforce expectations, things like respect, professionalism, and communication norms. This shifts the focus from blaming individuals to rebuilding a healthier culture together.
These are complex situations, but silence tends to feed toxicity. Even if your manager doesn’t love “drama,” they’re still responsible for maintaining a respectful workplace. 🙂
