📣 Inas Laghzaoui, Head of HR & CSAT @ CE Brands International:
I've been in this situation so many times! It's tough trying to do the right thing without getting your boundaries pushed aside, but there are ways to approach this constructively. First, it’s important to understand the root cause of their complaints. Are they feeling alienated or unheard? Do they lack proper outlets for their grievances? Taking the time to ask questions like, “What’s been bothering you most?” or “What do you think would help improve this situation?” can help uncover whether their negativity stems from a deeper issue or if it’s simply habitual. Additional context is key to understanding what exactly they are ranting about.
If their complaints are not tied to legitimate concerns, you can try the following, it's my usual go-to for situations like these:
- Address the Impact: Clearly explain how their negativity affects their work and the team. For example, “When you focus on complaints, it impacts team morale and collaboration, and it can take time away from your tasks.” You can also explain how this behavior chips away at resources everyone benefits from. This helps them see the broader consequences of their actions.
- Set Clear, Measurable Goals: Instead of tracking “complaints,” focus on actionable behaviors. For instance, “When raising concerns, please also suggest potential solutions,” or “Let’s limit venting to a specific time during our 1:1s and then shift to action steps.” This keeps the feedback constructive and manageable.
- Offer Support: You're not their therapist, I highly suggest that you orient them towards resources like an EAP or other support systems. Additionally, consider creating a structured space for feedback, such as a monthly meeting where employees can share concerns productively. This can foster psychological safety and provide a healthy outlet. Think of it as a support group in a sense.
- Follow-Up: Regularly check in to assess progress and ensure the changes are sticking. If there’s no improvement and they’re unwilling to grow, it may be time to evaluate whether this is the right workplace for them, as managing their impact on others can become unsustainable. Nothing spreads faster than negativity.
Balancing empathy with accountability is key here. When addressing the ranting, offer support and clear expectations but don't compromise your own mental health or the team's morale. Sending you all my love, You got this!
📣 Josiah Hernandez, People Operations & Recruiting Manager @ CW Financial Services LLC:
This is a difficult situation – and honestly, I've found myself in a similar spot so I’m still figuring it out too. Like what others have said and what has personally helped me is learning how to set some emotional boundaries. I try to stay kind and empathetic, but I’ve realized sometimes the other person just isn’t interested in solutions, and I can’t let that completely drain me. I still want to hear them out, but want to close the door on a free-for-all complaint session, so I’ve learned asking things like, “What kind of support do you actually need right now" helps to gently steer the convo away from that opportunity.
What we both have to remember is that being nice doesn’t mean you have to absorb constant negativity. Someone else also said this: you're not their therapist. When I need a reminder, I always think of the Meredith Marks gif of her saying "Thank you, I'm disengaging!" to make me smile and move on.
📣 Devinne Jackson, HRBP @ Wildlife Computers :
1. Set Clear Professional Boundaries: It’s okay to be kind and firm. You can acknowledge the employee’s concerns without absorbing their emotional load. Set limits on time and tone to protect your capacity.
2. Shift the Conversation Toward Solutions: Constant negativity often stems from a feeling of helplessness. Reframing the discussion around possible actions or what is within their control can help disrupt the cycle.
3. Take Care of Yourself: Protecting your energy isn’t selfish – it’s responsible. Create space in your day to reset, debrief with a peer if appropriate, and give yourself permission to step back when needed.
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