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 Hi ya party people, Did you hear the BIG NEWS???? Newsletter publishing is officially live in Safe Space!!! 🎉 Starting today, any member can create their own newsletter written by HR folks, for HR folks, and read by people who already know all the industry acronyms and actually understand what the hell you’re talking about. That also means you get to avoid the LinkedIn algorithm wedging some CEO’s I Fired My Best Employee and Here’s Why fan fiction into your feed. Now, back to our regularly scheduled corporate nonsense! 🤓 This week, we’re helping a 24-year-old HR manager whose coworkers have mistaken a bubbly and approachable vibe for a work bestie who technically cannot hold them accountable. Then, we’re tackling the beloved post-layoff tradition where leadership cuts 12 people and redistributes their work, all while giving it to existing staff without any raises. Let’s talk about it, and don’t forget to send me questions for a chance to be featured in the spotlight! 🔥 Sponsored by Shapes A lot of HRIS was built for a workplace that no longer exists…and it shows every single day. ASK AWAY 😳 layoffs & professionalism ✍🏾 Advice for a 24 year old HR manager at a law firm who is generally bubbly and easy going but it struggling with employees the same age as her thinking she is their friend instead of their boss? I want their respect and professionalism but also want them to continue to feel comfortable with me. Context: I work for a corporate law firm with 67 employees and I am the entire HR department as well as general manager. The only people on the leadership team are me (HR Manager), the Compliance Manager, the COO, Accounting Manager, and he two Partner Attorneys. I do all the basic HR stuff as well as all of the people managing. 📣 Nalini Mani, Organization Transformation Advisor: Being a young HR leader in a law firm, managing people your own age, is a textbook “friend‑to‑boss” challenge....and you’re not alone. Studies on first‑time managers show that most struggle with boundaries when they’ve been seen as peers or friends, and that the awkwardness comes from a shift in power and role expectations, not from personality flaws. But.. leadership research is also clear: being warm, agreeable, and supportive can help with team cohesion and effectiveness as long as it’s paired with clear structure and accountability. I think the issue here is you need to make your role more visible and your boundaries more consistent. A few evidence‑aligned moves: 1. Name the role, not just the relationship when you speak or provide counsel. Using phrases like “In my HR/manager capacity…” or “From a leadership standpoint…” helps people cognitively switch from “friend/peer” to “leader,” which research on role clarity shows is key for respect and performance. 2. Create structural boundaries, not emotional walls. Schedule conversations, use agendas, and redirect venting back to expectations and policy. Boundary‑setting literature emphasizes that changing process (how and when people access you) is more effective than trying to change your personality. 3. Be friendly, but not enmeshed. Having friends at work is linked to higher satisfaction and better communication, but dual‑role relationships (friend + boss) can create conflicting goals and perceived favoritism. Keep your tone kind, but avoid gossip, oversharing, or being the default emotional dumping ground. 4. Lean on consistency as your “respect engine.” Research on leadership and agreeableness suggests that “nice” leaders are respected when they are reliably fair and firm, not when they are endlessly flexible. Apply policies the same way every time, even with people you’re close to....that’s what builds professional trust. You’re aiming for approachable authority: someone people feel safe coming to, who also has clearly defined lines around decisions, accountability, and professionalism. The science backs you on this......warmth plus boundaries is not only possible, it’s one of the most effective leadership styles you can grow into. Some tips: You stay friendly, but you stop being informal. Examples: No more “lol girl same” responses. No more venting with them. No more “I totally get it, that’s annoying.” Replace with: “Thanks for sharing ... let’s talk about the professional impact.” Use short, repeatable phrases that signal leadership - “Let’s keep this in the professional lane.” “I hear you; here’s the policy.” “I’m going to speak to you in my HR capacity now.” “I can support you, but I can’t participate in personal dynamics.” Small behaviors that shift perception: Stand during difficult conversations. Keep your office door slightly closed. Schedule everything ... no spontaneous hallway therapy. Use meeting agendas even for casual check-ins. Start using leadership language: “Our leadership team is aligned on…” “From an HR and operations standpoint…” “The partners and I have discussed…” This signals hierarchy without announcing it. 📣 Sondra Norris, Founder @ Strategic Culture Partners: If I'm reading this and mathing right ... you are managing 61 people? If that's correct, start there and expect your leadership team coworkers to do their part. An assumption: because people are thinking you're their friend more than their boss, they (1) complain to you about everything; (2) don't take what you say about the work seriously; (3) both and other. Nalini Mani has excellent research-backed advice. Especially the part about what you're aiming for: approachable authority. You want to keep the good, trusting vibe while shifting slightly so that people see you and respond to you in your professional capacity. What I'd add is to do your own internal work on the actions you'll take and their potential outcomes so that you're not caught off-guard by emotions that come up when someone has an off-color reaction to "the new you." Your compass needs to be your standards, not their responses and reactions. This will prevent you from reverting back to "friendly behavior" out of your own discomfort - which will also then be inconsistent ... which makes the problem worse. You're shifting (or adding to) your consistent presence from "bubbly and easy going" to "respected, trustworthy, and has-my-best-interests-in-mind." Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.  ✍🏾 I work for an insurance giant that recently announced layoffs. My boss said we will make a plan for the “redistribution” of work. Once that happens, should I ask for a raise since I’m taking on my workload plus that of others for an unknown timeframe? Context: Centene did voluntarily and involuntarily layoffs. My team is 45 people and being downsized by 12. We are learning the work flow of another team as well so we can “do it all”. 📣 Jessie Fields, Sr Director, People Strategy & Ops @ C2FO: Because layoffs are a financial decision, it puts leaders in a really tough spot to determine how the work gets done with fewer people. The org needs to operate with fewer expenses, but the work still needs to be delivered. And that puts people like you in a frustrating position. Post-layoff, no org should expect to be able to do the exact same amount of work just with fewer people. Instead, the redistribution of work should also evaluate what work can be completely eliminated, what can be simplified, and what can be deprioritized. Once you understand your new role expectations and how things will be done differently, you should have those same negotiations with your boss. "If you need me to focus on X, then I will need to deprioritize Y." or "I won't be able to deliver this as quickly as we used to unless we simplify XY and Z." And if the expectation is in fact to take on more, execute at a higher level, and increase your scope, then yes, I do think you can talk with your boss about a raise after a few months of delivering to your new expectations. Try to have patience throughout the process -- your leaders won't have all the answers yet. Keep asking questions and advocating for simpler solutions so you avoid burning out too. 📣 Sondra Norris, Founder @ Strategic Culture Partners: 💯 Timing is important - there are a ton of details and emotions around these actions not to mention the resulting chaos. When you are considering tabling the idea of a salary increase, pay attention to from which jobs and levels the tasks/projects/work that landed in your role came from. This makes the decision data-based and hopefully more clear cut because X% of your role is at X Level and Y% of your role is at Y Level. Be able to articulate that how you're performing the new parts engages new skills, competencies, breadth of perspective, and produces results - with the clear delineation from those of your existing role. If your company does the exercise that Jessie suggested and eliminates certain things that are getting worked on, that might take time. 📣Tammi Burnett, Director of People and Culture @ Rainforest Action Network: Well first I'd want to know: do you like your job? Do you see yourself there long term? If so, then yes, you should ask for a raise, but I would give it a bit of time, say 3-6 months of doing your new workload before you ask. Approach that thoughtfully and do your due diligence. But you should also have a plan in mind if the request is declined - will you stay anyway? Is your job at any risk? Would that be a catalyst to look elsewhere? If so, spend that same 3-6 months sharpening your resume and job searching skills. Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here. Sponsored by BambooHR Onboarding shouldn't ever feel like throwing a new hire a laptop and a Google Doc and hoping for the best! 🚨 ON YOUR RADAR 🎧 Some leaders think SURPRISE is a valid change management strategy, and I have thoughts about it! I sat down with Kaity Jacobsen to talk AI agents, chaotic restructures, broken trust, and why no shiny new robot can save you from properly communicating with your employees. Check it out on Spotify or Apple Podcasts! 🎰 Multi-state compliance is basically roulette, except every state has different rules and HR gets blamed when the ball lands wrong. Join me for HR Therapy on Sept 9th, where Kara Govro, an actual lawyer, will help us make sense of the chaos without turning it into a legal lecture! ❤️ From ‘I Hate it Here’ to ‘I Love it Here’: Your Culture Transformation Roadmap. HR can influence culture change in any organization, and this course teaches you how. Join the Safe Space community to access it! 🤖 Is AI replacing everyone or nah? On Sept 17th, Rippling is gathering HR and Finance experts to cut through the corporate AI fever dream and justify the humans you still very much need. Register for free and let's create a headcount plan that doesn’t combust by Q2! *This one is brought to you by one of my amazing brand partners 📝 RESOURCE OF THE WEEK Each week I feature a resource I love from the Safe Space library that I believe would be relatable to this week's newsletter topic. This week, we’re revisiting 1:1s. Check it out HERE ⬇️  🫂 COMMUNITY HAPPENINGS 🎒 Safe Space Book Club - Our next book has been chosen for August/September and it’s one of those books that you maybe wouldn’t have chosen for yourself but you can tell it’s going to be a really awesome reading journey. If this sounds like you, join da club 👉 here! Must Attend Virtuals 🍿 Virtual Masterclass: Mastering the Sneak Attack, Sept 17th, 10am PDT! HR always gets the "seat at the table" runaround, so Safe Space Ambassador Sondra Norris is showing you how to reframe the people problem as an execution problem so leadership actually listens. Grab your spot 👉 here! ☕ September’s Virtual Coffee + Cowork is up! Hosted by Kat. HR team of 1? In need of body doubling? Simply want to hang out listening to lofi beats with your fav community? Trust, it’s always a vibe. Come hang with your your ppl, secure your spot here! FRIDAY FUN 😂 I WISH.png?sig=3da8022a9e16071f3b732d7e7376f6cdb12cd65a34a2bec72befc875192dd5f2&size=email-body&dpr=2) My inner voice: HOW DARE YOU!!!! What I actually say: help me understand why you went down this path? The struggles of being a sassy person in the world of HR, I'm always translating my snarky comments into business speak. Reminder: Today is FRIDAY. 🙏 GO HAVE FUN!! | ||||||||
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