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Hi ya party people,

Happy Friday! As you know, I’ve been testing diff intros, and I’m curious if party people is still the vibe? I’ve been taking notes on suggestions.

I'm a huge note taker (probably because I'm not a fan of revisionist history), so I'm always gonna come with the facts and the receipts! 😇 

I’m also always gonna come with some Q&A before you clock out for the weekend. 

Today, we're talking about what happens when the person who's supposed to protect the culture IS the culture problem, and the absolute chaos of trying to report up when up is exactly where the issue lives. 

Then, we're talking about the employee everyone claims they can't live without, who is somehow also making everyone absolutely miserable. You know the one. 🫩

So let’s see what the bright folks from Safe Space have to say about it!

And of course, if you have any questions of your own and want a chance to be featured, you can submit them here.

✨ Don't forget: You can always vent, celebrate a win, or find support in Safe Space

✨ Don't forget: You can always vent, celebrate a win, or find support in Safe Space

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ASK AWAY

✍🏾 What do you do if you find a superior in HR is abusing their authority: Isolating parties (not communicating about meetings, tasks, expectations) and then tailoring their story to each conversation? 

Who can you tell if your superior creates unprofessional narratives about why they're blaming certain "employees" (not accepting personal, Leader responsibility and/or educating subordinates) for the purpose of Leadership meetings?

(EthiCall is a No-Go because it returns the complaint directly to the person in question!)

Context: International-Owned Manufacturing and Delivery company, over 10K employees, divided into regions and divisions.

📣 Anonymous Safe Space Member:

You may need to play the long game with this, and I would recommend having a backup plan. I say this as a person who is perhaps overly cautious, so take that into consideration. 

First, document everything. When certain parties are excluded, document it. You could go a step further and get their story in writing via email. Get all parties' stories in writing. When they blame someone or something else, make sure that is in writing. 

When there are gaps in people's trainings and knowledge and this leader failed to fill it, document that and get their reasoning in writing. If they try to answer you verbally, email them a follow up summary of that conversation. Put the responsibility of correcting and defending in their court, not yours.

You want the pattern to be there and visible for when you feel ready and comfortable with bringing it to a higher-tier leader's attention. Follow your company's policies in how to make that report. At that point, it might be out of your hands, but do everything you can so that you know you did what you could, for your own conscience, your colleagues, and your company. 

Now, as we all know, retaliation is illegal, but it is a very real concern for everyone. It might be why you are hesitating. You don't know how your leadership will handle the situation, whether they will do a proper investigation or side with this leader and do nothing. You don't know how this will affect your position. Which is why I, as an overthinking/over-cautious person, recommend having a backup plan. What that looks like is up to you.

Regardless, I wish you the best of luck and hope you have the support you need, both here in Safe Space and outside of it.

📣 Anonymous Safe Space Member:

In a previous role in manufacturing, I experienced a very similar situation. What I chose to do was escalate thoughtfully and document everything.

I reached out directly to the VP of Human Resources and included the leader’s direct manager. In that communication, I clearly outlined my concerns and made it known that I would be submitting a formal complaint but wanted to ensure visibility at a higher level first. After that, I submitted a detailed report through the ethics hotline, including all supporting documentation and examples.

Then, I stepped back and allowed the process to run its course.

I think one of the biggest barriers in situations like this is fear of retaliation. That fear is valid, but it’s also important to recognize that without speaking up, these behaviors often continue unchecked. In my case, the individual was ultimately terminated. While there were some interpersonal tensions afterward, I protected myself by keeping everything professional, well-documented, and transparent.

Retaliation is not only unethical, it’s illegal. Making sure your concerns are documented, shared through appropriate channels, and tied to your name (when safe to do so) can actually offer more protection than staying silent.

Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.

✍🏾 How do you get management to see that the employee that we "can't live without" is toxic and hurts everything including productivity?

Context: N/A

📣 Josiah Hernandez, People Operations & Recruiting Manager @ CW Financial Services LLC:

Unfortunately, I’ve learned that when this happens, it’s usually because leadership sees the output—but not the cost of that output. And if it’s not clearly hitting $$$, it stays invisible. If the person is delivering results, “they’re toxic” isn’t going to move anything. You have to translate the impact into business terms: turnover, backfilling costs, lost productivity, team disengagement. Put numbers to it. Make the hidden costs visible. It’s also worth looking at who manages them. If that leader’s success is tied to this person’s output, you’re not just dealing with one problem—that’s a more strategic (and delicate) conversation.

ALL THAT TO SAY, at some point, you have to stop trying to convince leadership someone is toxic. That’s subjective and easy to dismiss. Make the case that they’re expensive—because once the cost is undeniable, the conversation changes.

📣 Shelly Curtis, HR Manager @ Public Utility:

By creating consistency in follow up and check in processes. Chances are this employee is held to different standards, or may be so “trusted” that their are no real clear expectations laid out for them at all. Letting the manager know that to better support the employee we need to make sure they have the same touch points and clarity of expectations as the rest of the team. If there are no glaring immediate issues, I’d start by making sure to start a “fact file” as questions or concerns come up, this allows the manager to visibly see and record patterns from an observation point of view, making the issues at hand feel more unbiased and driven strictly by facts rather than feelings. (Example: Joe sped out of the parking lot on Tuesday, I spoke with him about safety and our policy, gave clear next steps if it occurs again.)  

📣 James Leahy, Director of People & Culture @ DailyPay:

When I’m helping management realize that an employee has crossed the line from "difficult" to "toxic," I always start by pointing back to our core values. We have a value called Commit Together, which is built on a foundation of mutual respect and collaboration. I remind leadership that technical skill is only half the job. You could be the most brilliant accountant or the most gifted engineer on the planet, but if your behavior doesn't reflect who we are as a company, you aren't actually meeting the baseline expectations of your role. Being a "rockstar" doesn't give anyone a pass to skip the cultural requirements.

It’s also important to remember that "toxic" shouldn't just be a gut feeling or a vibe; it needs a clear definition rooted in the business. I ask management to look at the actual outcomes: How is this person’s behavior hurting the team’s productivity right now? And what does that damage look like six months down the road? By shifting the focus from personality clashes to measurable things—like project delays, communication breakdowns, or declining morale—the problem becomes much harder to ignore.

The biggest hurdle is often helping leadership understand the long-term cost of doing nothing. I try to show them that if we retain someone who treats others poorly, we’re essentially telling the rest of the staff that this behavior is the new standard. It’s a "contagion" effect—pretty soon, your best people start to check out or, worse, start modeling that same toxicity just to survive. My goal is to help management see that protecting the health of the whole team is always more valuable than holding onto one person, no matter how talented they are.

Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.

🚨 ON YOUR RADAR

🎧 Most companies have a comp strategy, but almost none of them are actually following it! I sat down with Haris Ikram, CEO of Candor IQ, and we got into what makes comp so misunderstood. Check it out on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!

🤖 Every HR event has an AI panel right now, and somehow we're all still leaving more confused than when we got there! On April 22nd, this month’s HR Therapy to discuss what's actually working and what's failing, with real data I collected myself. See ya there!

💰 Pay Transparency matters (but it's also difficult). That's why I created this course. Join the Safe Space community to access it, plus everything else you need to stay ahead of the curve.

💸 Your top performer might be your biggest liability. Rippling and Kim Williams are hosting a live masterclass on April 21st to help you put real numbers behind what toxic high performers are costing your org, so the C-suite convo stops being your word against theirs!*

*This one is brought to you by one of my amazing brand partners

📝 RESOURCE OF THE WEEK

Each week I feature a resource I love from the Safe Space library that I believe would be relatable to this week's newsletter topic.

This week, we’re revising five investment currencies outside of salaries. Check it out HERE ⬇️

FRIDAY FUN

Somewhere between screaming and tears, you will find the average HR person who has to deal with some made-up deadline and someone's inability to plan. 

Now, is urgency real? Obviously, when the situation is actually URGENT. 

But in corp America? Most of it feels like a failure to plan and set deadlines accordingly. 

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk... 

That's all for this week! I hope you enjoyed! If you have any thoughts, please let me know. I'm allll ears.

Reminder: Today is FRIDAY. 🙏

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