Ohh Spike, youāll always be my favorite vampire.
Every workplace has its own cast and crew of characters but here are some common energy vamps you may spot in your org that one could consider ātoxic.ā
š The Chaos Agent: This character thrives in ambiguity. Like loves it and thinks thatās just the way things are.
Maybe theyāll hoard info, stir up some confusion, and leave the situation calling it ācollaboration.ā Itās not. Every project or task ends in a Slack thread of 57 messages and people leaving MORE UNCLEAR than when the convo started. Or theyāll throw a meeting on your calendar called āQuick Syncā that ends up being the same issues youāre already discussing in an email or Slack and by the end of the meeting no decisions have been made but theyāll declare āwe were so productive!ā Our definitions of productivity are differentā¦
š¤š¼ Clock it: Iāve worked with my fair share of chaos agents and I have a theory about them. They are the folks who love information gathering and controlling how things are done BUT are terrible at communicating what others need to know to actually get things done. They thrive when they can provide the answer. A more extreme version of this is a power hungry person who views info as power and refuses to share it until they absolutely have to
š The Sugar-Coated Saboteur: This character appears polished on the outside but is really passive-aggressive on the inside. They weaponize āfeedback,ā love a backhanded compliment that cuts, and somehow manage to be both helpful and harmful in one sentence.
I feel like WE ALL know this type or weāve seen Mean Girls enough time to recognize it in the workplace... Theyāll open a meeting with, āYouāve been doing such great work lately!ā and then later on say, āItās so refreshing to see you finally taking initiative.ā Itās giving: āOh my god, I love your bracelet whereād you get it from?ā Or maybe theyāll tag you in a public Slack thread just to āclarifyā something you supposedly messed up but somehow it makes them look like the hero who caught it. My skin is crawling.
š¤š¼ Clock it: My theory on the sugar-coated saboteur is that they learned early on that being direct ends with them being punished. They saw honest people labeled ādifficultā while the diplomatic folks were the ones who got rewarded, so they adapted. That passive-aggression behavior is actually more of a survival skill, especially in cultures that prize niceness over truth. Because in those environments control comes from tone, not authority. Mic dropppp. But here's the kicker⦠They might truly believe theyāre being professional. The system taught them that as long as you smile while saying it and seem NICE, itās not mean or breeding conflict, itās communication. Big ICK.
š The Overly Competent Tyrant: This character is high performing but an absolute terror to work with at times. Theyāre the one leadership protects because āwe canāt afford to lose them.ā They deliver results BUT tend to leave a trail of bad vibes behind.
You know the one the ārockstarā who closes deals, ships product, or ājust gets things done.ā Everyone HATES working with them, but their metrics shine bright. When complaints come in (they always do) the response is usually something along the lines of āThatās just their style.ā BOOO.
š¤š¼ Clock it: my theory is this type of toxic coworker has historically been rewarded for outcomes, never impact. Somewhere along their journey they learned that being indispensable is much safer than being collaborative. And unfortunately the system taught them results can excuse behavior. And in smaller orgs removing this person could actually be detrimental to the business surviving so most times theyāre left to their own devices or HR is told no change is going to happen.
šÆļø The Burnout Hero: This character is constantly working and everyone knows it because they wonāt stop telling everyone.
You know, works until midnight and loves reminding everyone how much they sacrifice āfor the team.ā They make everyone around them feel like they aren't doing enough. Theyāll jump into every problem, volunteer for every extra task, and proclaim things like, āI just care too much!!ā They set a pace no one asked for and then somehow judge you for not matching it. Sorry??? You might get emails timestamped at 11:47 p.m. with subject lines like āQuick thoughts :)ā and/or Slack messages before 8 a.m. that read āUp early, just getting a head start!ā I just shuddered. Schedule send is a REAL THING that everyone needs to learn to use.
š¤š¼ Clock it: my theory is that this type of coworker is used to workplaces that glorify hustle culture and confuse boundaries with being lazy. They believe exhaustion equals excellence. (It doesn't) Their burnout is worn like a badge and their overwork becomes everyone elseās burden. I see this a lot at early stage startups because the work feels make or break at that stage but the impact of this type of employee can push people too far and hurt good work from being done.
Iām sure youāve met one of maybe all four of these energy vamps in your career.
š£ But before you go writing people off as just being ādifficultā think about this: toxic coworkers are symptoms, not causes. They most often reflect gaps in things like leadership, clarity, and accountability. THE BIG 3!
So, how do we stop creating environment that feeds their bad behaviors?
ENTER HR.