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Hi ya party people,

Happy almost-Labor Day weekend! 🥳

For those of us with a three-day weekend ahead, I hope your only productivity involves deciding what to binge next.

If you do not have a long weekend ahead of you... maybe submitting your HR confession will bring you some fun. If you need to vent or simply get something off your chest so you can move on drop it here!

Now onto this week’s Q&A because it is hitting two very real nerves...

First, how workplaces can actually support parents and expecting employees without crossing into the land of awkward, intrusive questions.

And second, a story that will resonate with anyone who’s been strung along with the promise of a promotion that never materializes, all while your workload doubles and your boss gaslights you about how it “wasn’t that much” before.

Let’s dig in!

And of course, if you have any questions of your own, you can submit them here.

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ASK AWAY

🤰pregnancy & promotions

✍🏽 How can workplaces create a supportive and inclusive environment for employees who are parents or expecting a child, while respecting personal boundaries and privacy?

Context: When discussing parenting status or pregnancy in the workplace, it’s important to recognize that these topics are deeply personal, and individuals may have diverse experiences such as fertility struggles, separation, or a desire to keep personal life private. Asking direct questions about such matters can be intrusive, uncomfortable, or even distressing.

📣 Nicole Drummond, Senior Employee Relations Manager @ Harvard Business Publishing:

Hi! I would suggest perhaps starting with an ERG or similar at your organization for Parents & Caregivers (more inclusive name) to include all of those and make it private but open to all employees. Then, also once that is in place – perhaps lead the conversation with the group on how do others manage this at the organization or how they have managed it so far?

I would then, also agree with EVERYTHING Alex stated: especially sharing the EAPs, any resources such as caregiving resources that your employer has, and highlighting the benefits that are available as part of the norm. Also – ensuring that managers know how to talk about and live this in their leadership. Support them with a leadership "policies to know" and highlight the flexible schedules, resources available to them, and always mention that leaders should be referencing using HR as an additional support for them too. That makes HR a safe space (see what I did there...) acknowledging that they don't need to share the WHY with their managers, but the HOW and plan this.

📣 Lisa Sterling, Chief People Officer @ Perceptyx:

Great question and one we had to navigate ourselves at our org. What we determined is this isn't just about policies; it's about leadership and culture. To create a truly supportive environment for parents and expecting employees, we must normalize these conversations at every level. The responsibility to make this happen rests with our leaders. The key to a successful approach lies in bold, disruptive leadership, not by-the-book HR.

Here are three things we emphasized at our org to be more supportive and inclusive.

Scrap the "Don't Ask" Mentality.

Leaders must be enabled to initiate conversations about family and well-being, not just react when a formal announcement is made. This isn't about prying; it's about making it normal to talk about life. A leader should be able to ask, "How can I support you as you navigate this?" without fear of crossing a line. This builds trust and makes it clear that we see the whole person, not just the output.

Normalize "Life" as a Part of the Workday.

Leaders need to be the culture carriers here. This means modeling the behavior we want to see. When I openly say, "I'm leaving at 4 p.m. for my kid's soccer game," it sends a powerful message that life isn't a weakness, it's a reality. We need to stop pretending that work and life are separate and instead demonstrate that they're integrated and fluid.

Build a Culture of Collective Care.

An inclusive environment for parents isn't just a leader's responsibility; it's a team sport. Leaders must foster a culture where people proactively support each other. This means encouraging teams to build shared calendars and coverage plans that anticipate an individual's absence, whether for a doctor's appointment or a family leave. When an individual returns, the team rallies around them, focusing on a smooth re-entry and a shared understanding that a happy, healthy colleague is a more effective one. This is how you build a resilient, high-performance team that values people's humanity as much as their output.

Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.

✍🏽 My company went through a leveling exercise last year where certain levels were brought down a notch as the org flattened. With that leveling reorg, my scope increased dramatically (I took on a much bigger team, higher responsibilities, overall team goals and more).

A promotion has been dangled to me for what is now, well over a year. My boss' boss says there's no business justification to bring me up a level and that I am right at the level that needs to be had. (Additionally, she said my responsibilities weren't even that great before, yet I was burning out then). Is this culture toxic for even doing all of this and expecting far more? Does she even see me or what is the deal?

Context: Company Size: 5K; industry is tech

📣 Sandi Creyaufmiller, SVP Culture &Talent @ Marine Bank:

Ugh! I'm so sorry your management team has led you on. I've seen this before in tech, and if they haven't promoted you in a year and a half after dumping you, they aren't going to. It's very short-sighted on management's part.

If management goes through a leveling exercise, they have eliminated some middle management roles and reduced employee costs. They can afford to compensate you for the added responsibility.

Is this environment toxic? I'm not sure. Take this as education: when you are asked to do substantially more than you have in the past, you should be compensated for it. If you could have negotiated up front for the additional responsibility you took on, you would likely be happier.

If you cannot negotiate additional compensation, I would look for a new opportunity, knowing I can add the extra skills to my resume.

📣 Alex White, Regional Director, HR @ Washington Duke Inn & Golf Club:

This is such a tough situation – and unfortunately, not an uncommon one when companies go through leveling or flattening exercises. (I’ve been through something similar myself, so I can speak from experience.) From an HR perspective, a few things stand out:

Scope creep without recognition is a red flag. When responsibilities increase significantly but the role, level, or compensation don’t reflect that, it’s natural to feel unseen and undervalued. Burnout is often the result.

“No business justification” is usually about budget or politics, not performance. It doesn’t diminish the impact of the work you’re doing – it just highlights where the organization is choosing to prioritize recognition and advancement.

Toxic or not? I’d frame this less as “toxic culture” and more as misaligned culture. If expanded responsibilities aren’t acknowledged or rewarded, that speaks volumes about how talent is valued.

If I were coaching someone in this situation, I’d recommend:

Having an honest, documented conversation with your manager about scope vs. level vs. pay – get clarity on what “business justification” really means.

Defining your non-negotiables. If recognition and growth are at the top, it may be time to reassess the long-term fit.

Recognizing that being told “your responsibilities weren’t that great before” isn’t feedback – it’s dismissive. And that, in itself, is a cultural signal.

At the end of the day, you deserve to be in an environment where your contributions are seen and valued, not minimized. Sometimes that means continuing to advocate internally – and sometimes it means finding a place where your work and talents will truly be recognized.

📣 Jane Meyer, Training Coordinator @ Windings, Inc.:

Alex White has provided great advice! I would add to create your current job description if there isn't an updated one and compare with your previous job description, having that documentation may help you to present the facts if you choose to do so. Hoping you will have the opportunity to respectfully present your case.

Safe Space members can join this discussion here. Not a member yet? Apply to join here.

🚨 ON YOUR RADAR

🎧 The chaos at work is real: AI’s wrecking jobs, the labor market’s a dumpster fire, and climate change isn’t exactly taking PTO. In this episode, Aparna Rae and I ask: Is the future of work f*cked? Check it out on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!

🎟️ Safe Space Summit update: More powerhouse speakers will be revealed soon, but if you wait until the full lineup drops, you might be too late...just sayin. Apply for a pass and be prepared to meet the people you’ll want in your corner for years to come!

📋 Are your managers actually coaching…or just winging it? Betterworks put together a free checklist that shows you exactly how to turn “accidental managers” into confident leaders who know how to coach for performance and career growth! It has practical, data-backed steps to reduce burnout and help your managers thrive, without the trial-and-error chaos!

🌎 Catch me at NYC Climate week! I'm on the stage with some other super awesome guests talking about how to build high performing, planet positive organizations. Let's hang out IRL and do some good?

😬 September's HR Therapy is for anyone whose HR tech stack feels more like a bad situationship than a solution. We’ll unpack payroll nightmares, laugh through the pain, and figure out when it’s time to fix (or finally break up with) your tools. Come commiserate, come heal.

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📝 RESOURCE OF THE WEEK

Each week I feature a resource I love from the Safe Space library that I believe would be relatable to this week's newsletter topic.

This week’s resource is a replay of my HR Therapy chat with Mahima Chawla. We discussed the importance of supporting caregivers in the workplace, and the need for HR policies that recognize and accommodate the unique challenges faced by this group of employees. Check it out HERE ⬇️

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🫂 COMMUNITY CORNER

🎤 Ready to VENT? RSVP to join us for our September TGIF -vent sesh- next Friday, 9/5 💖

🤝 If one of your fall goals is to make more connections, host an event! We’re looking for members interested in hosting IRL Meetups, virtual Masterminds or Book Clubs, or other events you want to see. If you love to bring people together, we’d love to have you host!